Speaking King James

Occasionally in my home, I declare "King James Mornings" these are brief periods in which we all try to speak in King James , you know - "thee's" and "thou's".... "Wouldst thou like Fruit Loops or Cinnamon Toast Crunch?"...

Actually it hardly ever catches on. . . . except with me, I just thoroughly enjoy myself ... everyone else just sort of stares at me blankly.

"Brother, take up thy socks from off the kitchen floor and cast them into thine dirty clothes hamper - dost thou abide in a pigpen?!"

To the myriad of reader (the plural is omitted intentionally) who might not hail from the Bible-Belt - I should explain that I am referring to the King James Version of the Bible.

I grew up reading the KJV and preferred it. In fact only over the past eight or nine years have I moved on to other translations.
My wife prefers The Message - which I like on some occasions but usually I read it too fast... it reads too much like a newspaper or something common. The KJV forces me to slow down to try and figure out what is being said.

And you just can't beat some of the King James words!
In fact that is how this post originated: this morning I was thinking about a great KJV word.

It just kept rolling over in my head - the word is smote... as in "David smote Goliath" ... see, that just says so much more than "clobbered" or "pounded". What color! What pizazz!

Smote of course is the past tense of smite ... and one "could have been smitten last week".

I would like to create a tidal wave of support to bring back smote. Please feel free to join me in this cause. Perhaps you can find ways to casually insert the term into your conversation.

"BEHOLD! Martin really smote that presentation!"

Can't you just hear news broadcasters... "Hamas terrorists were smitten today by Israeli troops..." or sportscasters -"The Westdale Hawks smote the Tooterville Bears in a high-scoring battle..."

I just think smote is a "tough" word.

But alas, I will probably be forced to relegate smote to the occasional King James days in our home ... I'm sure R. and the kids are smitten...