Mairzy-Doats and Goatzy-Doats....

On some issues, I am a very patient man.

For several years now I have kicked around the idea of purchasing a goat.
As a quasi-birthday gift this year - may dear wife obtained TWO goats for me.

I once had two turtles, Myrtle and Scratcho (named thus because of the way his little claws would scratch when he was picked up); I also owned a little brown rabbit named Marcy (wrote a song about her) - those are the most exotic domesticated beasts I've owned up until now.

My purpose for wanting goats was very practical: we are surrounded by a very wooded area and I want the goats to clear it out (I've been told they'll eat nearly anything). Also I want my kids -er children - to gain the experience and responsibility of caring for an animal.

At a fundraising auction for our school last month, R. and I bid on a couple of baby pygmy goats but were beat out; at that point it was apparent that the last stronghold of resistance was crumbling.

AA and Ab and I have had a good time over the last few weeks, brainstorming names for a goat tandem - if we actually followed through and bought them. In fact that subject dominated the conversation at more than one of our rare sit-down-at-a-table-together meals.

Goober and Gomer, seemed to be the favorite, although I liked names with more legacy like Romulus and Remus the legendary twins of Roman Mythology or even Jacob and Esau.

When the goats actually arrived last Saturday, we learned that they already had names: Thunder and . . . Floyd . . . as in Floyd, the barber on "The Andy Griffith" show.

The two goats we have are a little over a year old and the former owners said it would not scar their psyche for us to change their names, but I am having trouble convincing the Ab and AA to do that.

Thunder's name is significant because he was born in a storm. Floyd, on the other hand, just doesn't seem to fit.

King Solomon in the Old Testament, erected two massive pillars when he was constructing the Great Temple for Jehovah. These pillars were prominently placed out front and they stood nearly fifty feet high including their capitals. They were made of bronze.

Solomon named these two pillars Jakin and Boaz. Jakin means "God Establishes"; Boaz means "God is strong". These are the two names I settled on as my choice for the two goats - Jake and Bo.

AA - who is my best com padre these days - quickly joined with me in my crusade to establish some meaningful names for these two goats. Ab and R. are holding out. Ab likes the real history behind Thunder's name - and rightly so.

So right now we call them any variety of names, however we have found that the only sound that really gets their attention is the rattling of the feed can.