Never Saw it Coming

In my sojourn through the Bible, I have come across one of my favorite love stories in the Bible - the story of David and Abigail.

I like that Abigail!
I can really see what David saw in her.

But for this post, I want to focus on leadership - since this time around I am drawn to those principles as they relate to David.

The blogosphere is replete with leadership tactics and strategies and for the most part I enjoy learning new methods or concepts - but I am for the most part a story guy when it comes to learning. I am captivated by stories. So for me, the better way to learn about leadership is to watch it person or to see it played out in stories. That's why I have so much to learn from David.

Now I do not occupy a real - official leadership role - but I am a Dad, and I hope that my role in the relationships I have in my job and among family and friends will display principled, Christ -centered leadership.

In the story of David and Abigail, David's leadership is best displayed when compared to that of Nabal, Abigail's churlish husband.

At this point in David's story, he is a fugitive from King Saul and has amassed a growing militia of "not-so-merry" men - first 400 and at the point of today's story - 600.

Apparently, it was the custom in those days for militia-men to sometimes camp in the vicinity of shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks. When they did this, the soldiers would act as something of a guard for the shepherds - protecting them from wild animals or from vicious humans.

I understand that it was further custom that when payday came around -"payday" would come for the shepherd when the sheep were sheared - the owner of the sheep would invite those militia-men in to join the celebratory feast and would pass along something of the profits.

That's why David sent ten young men to Nabal when it was learned that he was shearing his sheep at Carmel. David's men had been living with Nabal's shepherds and by the testimony of the shepherds, they had often protected them.

So David sent the young men top see if Nabal may want to follow the usual customs and reward his men to some degree.

Abigail is mentioned at the beginning of the story as having a "good understanding" and a "beautiful appearance"; Nabal, on the other hand, is said to be "harsh" and "evil in his doings".

What a pair!

My personal opinion is that Abigail was the brains behind the man and was likely responsible in great part for his success and his great wealth.

Nabal had a closed style of leadership; David's was open:

When David's men made their request to Nabal, they invited him to investigate the evidence of their protection. They told him that he could ask his own shepherds and they would tell him about the safety afforded them by the presence of David and his men.

Nabal did not have an open leadership style. He wasn't asking them anything!

He rejected outright, the claims of the young men. Even questioned their integrity and the integrity of David their leader and the Bible says they "turned on their heels" and returned to David empty-handed.

"turned on their heels"

I love the illustrative language of the Bible. It draws such a picture for my imagination to capture.

So Nabal's leadership style is stubbornly closed - unwilling to question anything or allow that he may not know the entire story. Compare this to David's open leadership style. Even in my last post on this subject, David's men let him know that they did not want to take on the Philistines at Keilah. David had listened to their concerns - even though he already had God's direction on the issue - and so he went back to God a second time.

David "went out and came in among the people"; he was right their with folks - he could see things from their perspective because he was one of them.

Nabal's style of leadership was self-centered - "me-focused":

When Nabal responded to the request by David's young men, his offered a "me-focused" response. There was no question that in his eyes it was "all about him". Seven times in the one verse response - he uses the words "my" or "I".

..."my meat"...

..."my bread"...

..."my shearers"...

This selfish style of leadership was further illustrated by the "closed hand" with which he tightly held to his stuff.

Is there anything today that you are gripping a little too tightly?

If so, it is very visible to those under your scope of leadership, whether it be your children or the employees you serve.

Closed leaders get blind-sided:

When David received word of Nabal's rejection - he rallied his troops for war: mustering a group of 400, David set out for vengeance on Nabal.

In the meantime, one of Nabal's more savvy servants went to the "unofficial" leader, Abigail. He explained to her (because she would listen) how that David's requests had been rejected and how that David's men had indeed protected them in the fields.

He further pointed out that he had discerned that trouble was brewing and that David would surely retaliate. He punctuated his remarks to Abigail with a statement on his boss's character:

"He is such a scoundrel that one cannot speak to him!"

In other words - he is not approachable; he just won't listen.

Abigail, whose leadership style is notable and similar to David's, sized up the situation quickly because she listened. She then formulated a rapid response; she dispatched servants left and right and barked out orders. Soon she had assembled a wagon train of delectable goodies to send out to David.

Then she went herself and no ambassador has ever been more successful!

She met David humbly and begged for him to hold her responsible for the foolishness of her husband (though she does give further evidence of her role as "unofficial" leader by telling him that she was not aware of the visit from David's young men implying that she would have responded differently).

She went on to actually show compassion to this man that was en route to completely destroy her entire household. She gave David wise, godly counsel about how he should behave in view of the destiny God had prepared for him.

And David, again, listened.

Hearing her words, he understood that if he defended himself and lashed out on his own behalf against this superficial "slight", it would haunt him the rest of his days.

He accepted the gift and -I believe- went home with a heart siezed with thoughts of this amazing woman.

Abigial also returned home to find her husband feasting in the style of a great king. It was his party.

The next day after the effects of the wine had worn off - she explained to him how he had jeopardized everything with his harsh foolishness.

With that revelation, Nabal suffered an apparent stroke and died ten days later.

As demonstrated by his name (Nabal means "fool") he apparently never even saw the possibility that consequences would follow his actions.

Who is under your sphere of leadership?

Who is watching you?

What kind of leadership style are you displaying?

Open or closed?

You can read this story for yourself in 1 Samuel 25. Scripture taken from New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.