AA had to deal with something like that recently.
Our kids played Upward Basketball this year - it is a very effective program that mixes basketball fundamentals with the Gospel. I have been very blessed and impressed with the group of people that have served faithfully in this field at a nearby church.
Upward Basketball is not heavily competitive - in fact parents are encouraged to cheer for both teams. There were only two teams in AA's age range so every Saturday they played the same team (who needs game films).
In this group there is a large variety of shapes, sizes, skill and confidence levels. AA appears to have inherited the natural athletic ability from his Dad (as well as the absence of a killer instinct), so this is a good place for him to start.
The opposing team had one "Hoss" of a kid. This big, bulky kid (probably wore "Husky" jeans) reminded me of at least one of my nemesis in elementary school. He was good and very aggressive. Fortunately, AA's team also had one big guy who was equally skilled and aggressive so the two giants were assigned to cover one another.
However, this is Upward Basketball - and everybody plays. So when some shrimp-like guy was assigned to "kid-Goliath" they would run up the score until our "equalizer was put back in.
Late in the season, the teams went to the bench between periods and as they readied to start back up, they lined up face to face. AA had been assigned to the big guy.
Now AA is fairly tall and he's strong, but focus isn't his strong suit and he doesn't know yet how good he can be. He was smiling - but I could see in his eyes that he was beaten already.
For one period, AA followed that big kid around the court. Not really getting in on the play but trying to make a good showing by staying in the vicinity of the play.
Because my son and I are so much alike, I knew what he was feeling. After the game, we talked and I tried to instill some confidence in him. I wanted to be sure that he understood that I was irritated a little - not because he couldn't, but because he didn't know that he could and he wasn't trying his best.
Throughout the week, I mentioned it a few times and told him to stick on that guy like glue if he got assigned to him again.
Sure enough the next game AA was back on the big guy for a period. But this time, he did it - he stayed right with him. I was proud. The guy was only able to hit two or three shots and those were just because of his height advantage.
At some point AA looked at me and we both smiled. He was surprising himself, and he was pleased.
I don't have a lot of overcoming bully stories to pass on to my son. I didn't deal with bullies as well as I would liked to have.
But I do remember one in the first grade - maybe the one my sister recently met. I was afraid of him. He would sneak up behind me and jump on my back during recess.
One day he and I were somehow doing what we called "playfighting" ... which is how you explain it to the teacher when she says "HEY! are you two boys fighting!?!". . . . Anyway at some point I gained the advantage over the guy and pinned him, while I held him down he sort of got panicky.
From that point on, he didn't bother me much anymore and I wasn't afraid. In my mind, I had beaten him.
There is something about facing our fears that give us the advantage over them - when you get down there into the struggle with that thing you fear, you might just learn that it ain't so scary after all.
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