As you know, my Dad recently passed away after a somewhat debilitating three years. My Dad always seemed like the strong one in our family: tall, physically strong and stout.
Mom on the other hand, has always seemed more vulnerable - verbal about feelings of doubt or worry; almost fawning over others in fear of displeasing them; and Mom is the only member of my family that I have actually seen faint.
Yet, I realize more and more that she was actually the strong one.
My mother was directly involved -daily- in the care of her own mother for about ten years. This meant that Mom, who lives to spoil people, made sure that she was always as comfortable as possible and that she pretty much had all of her wishes fulfilled.
Almost on the heels of Granny's funeral, my Dad began to display signs of dementia. Soon it seemed that Mom was back in the cycle of providing constant care.
I don't think she has ever begrudged a single moment, has no regrets... and probably would not have done anything differently had she the opportunity to do it over.
My Mom is a rock.
Not only that, she has constantly shown her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren what it means to live.
Mom has always found time to play.
I have a vague memory of being a small child - bored because my brother and sister were both in school - and Mom coming up with some creative project for me to do.
For months - maybe years -she carried a large bruise on one of her legs... I don't know why the bruise didn't fully go away for so long.... but it was a trophy from a line drive, a direct hit from softball, earned during a back yard game with the grandchildren.
Even now, she is always up for a game of Scrabble, in fact when AA and Ab spent the night with her recently, they buzzed with plans of a Scrabble Tournament with Grandmama.
Mom has also taught her family how to pray. Much has been said recently about my father's role in leading his family in prayer every night and Dad did well to instill in us the importance of prayer; but it was Mom that made prayer real.
Because she has always been so open about her own worries and fears, she has also been very open about where she takes those cares. We have always known she takes them to the feet of Jesus.
Mom taught us the relational value of prayer. She taught us - by example - to rely on God instantly and in every situation small or large. As I write this I am remembering two instances recently in which Mom and Dad came to the end of their resources and abilities and turned to prayer: once when they found themselves locked out of the house (if memory serves). After trying unsuccessfully to find some means of entrance they finally prayed -shortly my brother just showed up for a visit and was able to get them back in.
On another occasion, Dad found that he was unable to get out of the bathtub. Dad was heavy and Mom could not lift him. After struggling for some time, they prayed and Dad suddenly had the idea of working his body into a different position which allowed him to leverage himself better and in so doing, escaped the cauldron.
My siblings and I have worried about Mom - if she could hold up under the strain of losing her husband of 62 years. But along with those concerns we have known that Mom is a "rock" - not because she is so feisty and strong on her own but - because she displays a constant willingness to lean on the Rock - Christ Jesus.
And He has consistently shown His own willingness to be a "present help" in every circumstance.
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