Fumbling with Opportunity

As I have mentioned in earlier posts, we are going through the book, " When Helping Hurts" by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert (Moody Publishers, Chicago, IL. 2009) in our Sunday School class and it has really challenged me.

Since starting this book, I have had two opportunities and I want to share my reactions with you as a means of displaying my own spiritual ineptness and as a means of moving further into the changes God is working out in me.

On two occasions recently I have been approached by someone asking for help.

I think I am fairly approachable and therefore an easy mark for panhandlers and the like. That's why my guard automatically goes up almost immediately when approached by strangers.

In both instances, the gentlemen were in "desperation" and needed money for "food". Both had intersting stories each flavored with the aroma of alcohol.

The first little man approached me in the corridor of the hospital in which I work. After explaining that someone was in the hospital and his wife had not eaten, he chattered on. He told me he was an alcoholic, I believe I understood him to say he was "dying with cancer" and he just wanted to buy some french fries for his wife.

Here's the battle that ensued: immediately the red warning lights went off and I knew there was a good chance that this person's story was not completely true - maybe untrue in the whole.

Then my thoughts went like this -

"do I have any money?". . .

"how much should I give - how much is enough to say 'I know you're lying but I am a Christian and this is what we do'?"

"Wait a minute! What would Jesus do? Think -THINK!"

"Oh I can't think - he keeps talking - what did he just say? Ooooo what should I do?!"

"What if someone sees me giving this guy money? Will they think I am just doing it so that I look like I'm holy?"

"AM I doing it just so I look holy?"

"Wait a minute - is there any way possible that God would want me NOT to help this guy?"

"No, but perhaps He would prefer me to truly HELP him - not just get rid of him ... that would mean 'engaging' with him. I don't even know where to start with that . . . what does that even look like?"

"Am I just trying to get rid of him as soon as possible?"

"of course."

Do you see what kind of junk goes on in my mind and all in a matter of panicked seconds?

On the first occasion, I did a mental inventory of my wallet and remembered that I was cash poor. I decided I would go with him to the hospital cafeteria, let him pick up some fries and if I didn't have enough cash, I could use my credit card.

I pointed him to the french fries and waited at the register for him to return. When he got into the check out line, his french fry necessity had grown exponentially - it now included soft drinks, chicken strips and other stuff.

The cashier, realizing what was going on, grabbed a "free meal voucher" and used it instead of requiring money from me.

The guy said he wouldn't forget me. . . that would have been a good time for me to insert something that might have pointed the glory to Christ - I do not know what I said, but I'm pretty sure I wasn't pointing any glory anywhere.

The second instance occurred last week as I was approached in the parking lot by a man who said he "knew I was a preacher" (I get that all the time), and he had walked in from a town about twenty miles away. He said he had spent the night on a porch and it was cold.

He wanted money "for Wendy's".

The same mental calisthenics continued in my head.

Since our office was having a meal that day, I told him to wait there and I would bring him a plate.

As I headed inside, I heard him approaching someone else. A little later when I emerged with a plate, he was no where to be found.

In both cases I found myself at a loss for dealing properly with a request for help. I felt sure that I should not give what they were asking for, but was at a loss for what I SHOULD do.

As I thought on that this morning, I felt something of a peace about it. God has me in a state of change and He has to break things up in order for me to truly be useful to His kingdom.

I am like an egg. Things are intact and neat - comfortable. Unfortunately, an egg is just not worth much until the shell is broken and what's inside plops out. The contents may be new life or it may be something that nourishes or adds flavor.

You just never know until things get all messy.

God's change is messy.