Beckon Me

God uses conflict to bring things to the surface.
When I am conflicted, attitudes and habits that I have heretofore managed to tuck away neatly, bubble to the top.

If you disagree, then take husbands and wives for an example: when there is conflict it is not unusual for one of the two to bring up some completely unrelated, past injustice. Perhaps it is a forgotten anniversary or something about her mother. It seems to come out of no-where.

The conflict drew it out; conflict will do that - that is why I believe it is one of God's tools that He uses to sharpen us.

Today, I found myself in conflict. Though it was sparked from circumstances around me, most of the conflict actually resided within me. It emerged from my own feelings of not measuring up.

I almost immediately made it a point of prayer (for me that is much more effective than muttering my complaints to myself or anyone else that will listen as I smolder).

I went back to prayer a number of times during my drive home and during my run this evening.

That's when God seemed to tie together a vast array of stuff that I have heard or read or discovered over the past year or so.

I heard Dave Ramsey recently talking about people happening to their life instead of waiting around for things to happen to them.

That bothered me when I first heard him say it - because it was true. Furthermore, I am afraid it is often true of me. More times than not, I have waited around hoping something would happen to me.

That connected with a devotion I heard a few months ago in a meeting - it was about Peter getting out of the boat and how it was better for Jesus to smile and say "where was your faith?" - than to have never stepped out of the boat.

I think I have heard sermons or teachings or other devotionals given on that same subject in the not too distant past. I decided that I have a tendency to stay in the boat.

The story comes from Matthew 14:24-29

But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary. Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.” And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. NKJV

I prayed that God would help me get out of the boat.

This scene was played out in an Easter Passion Play in which I was once involved. I remember that in the way we portrayed the scene, Peter stepped out of the boat but the other disciples stayed in the boat working desperately to bail out the water that the storm was tossing there.

They were struggling, trying to make their situation better - never considering that a better solution would be to get out of that boat!

That is so me. I sort of pride myself in my ability to adjust.

Now let's take a look at Peter, cause I think I know exactly what he meant when he said, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water" ... I think he was saying that he knew Jesus could empower him to walk on the water but he wanted to be sure that was what Jesus WANTED him to do.

Did you ever feel like something might be the right thing to do, but you weren't sure if it was the thing God wanted you to do at that time?

So life was happening to those disciples in the boat, and they were struggling to get used to it. But, Simon Peter happened to his situation and stepped out of a miserable safety into a breathtaking adventure.

On top of all these intertwined concepts was the overriding idea that I have held for the past couple years - that godly discontentment is okay with God. In Numbers 27, God commended the daughters of Zelophehad, because they were discontent when the law cut them out of receiving the inheritance of their father. They were discontent and they went to Moses, who went -in turn- to God.

This all seemed to be pointing to the fact that I need to stop waiting around and start happening to the world around me.

But how can I be sure that God wants me to step out of this boat?

That's when I started praying like Peter - "Lord, beckon me! . . . beckon me, call me out of this boat! . . . beckon me to Your adventure!"