Do Ya' Like Her?

Comfortable.

In this post, I will take a brief break from my holiday musings to go "personal".

As I was saying ... "Comfortable."

That was one of the benchmarks of our relationship in its early days. We were comfortable together. I have a scene, permanently engraved in my mind. . .

It was a Friday evening in the Fall, and she was coming home for the weekend, but I don't think we had exactly made plans together.

My older brother and I were in our paint store - no customers, of course - just us. We were doing what we did a lot in those days of little success and burgeoning hopes - we were entertaining one another.

Suddenly she seemed to just appear at the front window of the store.

I still remember the thrill of just seeing her. She really looked good in sweats ... she still does... and she made me feel comfortable.

I had so hoped she would "just happen by" that day and there she was - doing just what I had hoped she would do. She did that a lot in those days.

"I don't wanna' know if you love her..." Jimmy Stewart said to his daughter's suitor in the movie, Shenandoah, ... "I wanna' know if you like her!"

I can tell you that I liked her in those early days.

Now the first few times we met, she was quiet and reserved, uninterested it seemed and she had a boy-haircut. . . even then, I liked her okay. But several years later on a Sunday night with a bunch of church folks in a Chinese restaurant - a spark began in me. And I liked her!

I believe letters are the preferred means of communication between young people in love (and those on their way). Our relationship began in earnest, with letters. She sent a birthday card. I responded with another card and soon we were writing constantly.

For the better part of that summer, we communicated by letters; she was in school about an hour or so away. There were a few friendly phone calls and we got together a few times, but always with other people around.

Somehow we worked around to our first official date by September.

In the wee hours of the morning, following a Thanksgiving Day with my family, as we stood in the cold, in her parents' driveway - I confessed my love.

It was in a letter the next week, that she confirmed her love.

As I write this, I honestly still get butterflies.

By the next Holiday season we were planning for a big event.

Today we enter our third decade of marriage. I can truly say that I am most comfortable when she is near. There is no one that I had rather just spend time with than her (and our children).

I could go on and tell you how much I admire her. I could talk about the way she encourages me (and others). I could tell you how consistent and diligent she is. I could describe her ageless beauty that still makes me wonder how I snagged such a catch! I could point out her tireless pursuit of order in our home. I could tell you how she is just one of those people you want on your team, no matter what you're doing.

Let me just sum up with this; in contemplating the event of our 20th wedding anniversary, I asked myself the question: If I had it all to do over again, would I still want to be married to her?

Yes.

I wouldn't change a thing. Sure there were pits, valleys, skirmishes and some real shaky moments - but even those somehow brought us to places of redemption.

R. - I would still choose you.

I like you.

I love you.

Happy anniversary!

-D.