The Sixth Season

"Dad, I wish we could watch season number six of "The Waltons"

Ab is our oldest, and she has an amazing sense of diligence! A summer or so back, she determined to read 100 books over the summer - and did! Right now she is saving money for a laptop (I think this feat has been going on in earnest for about 8 months) and has turned into an entrepreneurial machine! She has manufactured book marks to sell and is in the process of developing a business plan (of sorts) to make Lia's out of yarn. As you can tell, I am in awe of this child's persistence; but persistence is a two-edged sword and it cuts both ways. That same drive prompts her to hang on to things like a snapping turtle: past injustices, unfulfilled requests, misdeeds of little brothers.

It was the negative side of her nature that produced the mournful lament you saw at the opening of this post. This statement or one like it, have been made repeatedly over the past few months - ever since we banned the kids from watching season six of The Waltons.

AA, peering over my shoulder a few moments ago suggested that I include him - he reminded me that he is prone to ask often about his watching Star Wars: Episode III. His requests are more compliant as fitting with his nature and tend to come in the form of comments about what might be on that mysterious conclusion that he is not allowed to watch.

Mom is not much for reminiscing over childhood days; I, on the other hand, relish my childhood - many would argue that I am still in it! One of the rare notations that R. has made about her childhood was the fact that her family always watched "The Waltons". So, some time back I ran across the shows first season on DVD and bought it for her. Subsequent seasons followed and for nearly a year we had a virtual "Walton's Marathon" in our home. R and Ab are the big fans, AA and I will sit through an episode now and then just for the company.

At some point in the waning years of the show (probably late 70's), the program sort of lost it's zing. I presume it was in an effort to shake things up, but in season number six people began swearing on The Waltons (for my fellow travelers of the South, that's cussing). It seemed that in every show, there came the obligatory "h-" or "d-" word.

We have taken a tact in parenting that will seem prudish or Victorian to some, but it is the route we think best. That is to construct close boundaries for our kids. In other words, we feel that if a child is consistently required to go to bed at 8:30 and he is -on some special occasion- allowed to stay up until 9:00... well the kid's will feel sure that it must be Christmas or something!
In keeping with that strategy, we have closely monitored what our children watch on television (this is easier to do if we - not the cable company or "Dish" network - make the decisions about what is available).

Because of this, our children are aware that there are certain words that they should not say... they refer to them as "the 's'-word" (that's stupid), "the 'd'-word (that's dumb)", and the dreaded 'f'-word (fat). That's another example of close boundaries. I had much rather one of my children slip and say that 'd' word than the other one. Although, a short time back Ab shocked us all by clearly pronouncing the other "s-word" and asking what it meant. Apparently some of her classmates had spelled it and she -avid speller that she is- enunciated the word perfectly (to the laughter of her mates). Hiding our shock (and smiling at her innocence) Mom and I explained that that word was not appropriate - ever.

So when John Walton went from just laying out of church on Sunday, to cussing like a sailor - we decided to ban the DVD's until the kids are older and can better discern.

But something else R. and I have noticed is the new-found sensitivity she and I have after being away from network television for a time (in an earlier post I talk about our decision to pull the plug on cable television). On vacation, we will watch television and are often shocked by what we see and hear. Most of what we see is course, brazen and void of creativity. We sometimes will watch movies that she and I watched as young adults only to remark -"I can't believe all that stuff was in that movie!". We notice it when other people will comment about shows or movies by saying -"It was a good story it just had a lot of language and a few bad parts" - we notice this because we used to say the same things.

There was a term that was once more common in the vernacular, called "self-restraint". It was similar to the "close boundaries" concept - it was the opposite of instant gratification. It was the idea of withholding things until the proper time and place. It involved inconveniencing one's self in order to prefer someone else. It lead to a civility that is not so evident today.

Do you reckon we could get that back?

I'm no expert - but I think it involves saying "no"; "no" to ourselves first ... and then "no" to our children and grandchildren. Oh they will smart over it - possibly whine a little- but so do we when we are told "no". But maybe - just maybe - over time, if a lot of people join in... we might just see some things change.

....good night John-boy....